


The Cage

by letmegeekatyou



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demon Sam Winchester, Horror, Lucifer's Cage, M/M, Unrequited Castiel/Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 10:11:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1262443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letmegeekatyou/pseuds/letmegeekatyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel brought Sam back soulless; this is why. (March 2nd: expanded from the original tumblr version to heighten the demonic elements and make the sastiel more explicit [not *that* kind of explicit])</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cage

The most frightening thing about demon Sam is that he is ordinary. He is cold and mocking; his smile is a thin, hard line. His eyes hold only the same empty blackness of any demon’s. There is no softness there that indicates a buried humanity, and there is no glimmer of affection or relief when Cas comes to free him from the Cage. Lucifer and Michael don’t even try to stop Castiel from entering, because they know.

He is too late.

And that is why he has to leave Sam’s soul behind. Because Sam would not thank him for freeing this thing; the real Sam, _his_ Sam, would rather spend eternity in the Cage. So Cas goes to work, pulling at the struggling, corrupted soul, while its limbs thrash and its low, steady voice mocks Castiel's devotion.

“This is where you placed your love, Castiel. In a demon." It smiles at him, pursing its lips in feigned sympathy and hooking one leg behind Castiel's knee to pull him off balance and draw them closer together. "How ashamed you must be. How ashamed your father must be.” Sam's face is so serene, but the demon under it twists and snarls at Castiel, a shadow creeping just under the skin, leaking out through the eyes, but it is still Sam's face, and Castiel fights the urge to close his own eyes as he struggles. The thing that is not Sam digs its claws into Castiel's arms, tearing at his grace and trying to pull itself up in a violent imitation of an embrace. It cranes Sam's neck upward, parting his lips slightly to reveal black smoke and something like fangs within.

"Come, Castiel," it purrs. "Haven't you wanted him? Haven't you longed to have him in your arms?" Castiel feels the truth of the accusation, but he closes his ears to the words, knowing the corruption is not Sam, not the beautiful boy with the gentle smile and unwavering faith. This is an infection. This is a lie. It knows the way to Cas's heart, but it cannot possibly understand how its twisted parody of affection will push Castiel past heartbreak and longing. It draws from him a merciless rage.

Michael and Lucifer make bets between themselves about whether he will succeed, whether his halo will get broken, how many feathers he will lose. They are impressed by his violence, laughing as he grips the twisted soul by the throat, but he ignores them. Clinging fiercely to Sam with one arm, he rips the thing out of him with the other and tangles it in the thorny bars of the Cage. Its silent, desperate writhing breaks his heart as he wraps his grace around Sam and flees that place.

He is still unsure that he is doing the right thing.

***

Castiel loses eleven feathers in the Cage; the archangels’ betting comes out even, so they work together to pull the soul loose from where Castiel had trapped it. Without a mind to animate it, it is just a mass of sorrows and pain, and they can't have much more fun with it. But they try. They find ways to make the voiceless thing scream.

***

That is why Sam can never know the whole truth: because if he thought for one moment that he had been more than infected with demon blood, that he had _been_ a demon, Cas is afraid that he would never recover, that he would sink away again under a weight of guilt and shame that is not his to bear. And from that, Cas is afraid that _he_ would never recover.

So he continues to live half a lie, accepting Sam's gratitude and trust but never forgetting how unworthy he is to receive them. And when Sam offers more, takes his hand, touches his cheek, and asks permission to kiss him, Castiel gently refuses. How can he accept Sam's love with this lie between them? He cannot tell Sam the truth about his own soul, and, selfishly, he is afraid to confess his own part, how he tore it out with his own hands, bent and broke and imprisoned it, because how could Sam ever forgive such a violation?  _Better that he should think I do not love him. Better to break both our hearts_.

And so he does.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Original version posted at http://sammysalive.tumblr.com/post/77830217711/the-most-frightening-thing-about-demon-sam-is-that


End file.
